It’s the little things that keep the spark alive—like passive-aggressively adjusting the thermostat, or pretending you didn’t see the mountain of laundry on the couch. 

So here are 12 simple, completely foolproof ways to keep your significant other on their toes. You know—so they never get too comfortable thinking they understand you.

Existential Screaming Into the Void (AKA Your Car)

Parking lot therapy at its finest. Just…maybe park the car over in the far corner first, lest some Susan Do-Gooder tap on your window to "check if you're okay" and then you literally die of embarrassment.

Like, no duh, I'm clearly not okay, Susan. I'm ugly crying and screaming in my car in a parking lot, you dingbat.

Monday is Labor Day in the US, AKA the calendar equivalent of a participation trophy for surviving another summer of climate change and chaos, and nowhere near enough iced coffee to cope with either.
 
Here's hoping we exchange The Great 2025 Dumpster Fire for a bonfire and sweater weather in the coming weeks. Meanwhile, sit back and enjoy the hard-earned fruits of your Labor Day weekend.

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In a world of uncertainty, all of us want to know we can always count on our parents. Even if it's just counting on being embarrassed in the checkout line every Saturday at 8:15 A.M.

("Hey embarrassed, I'm Dad.")

Last weekend, I was helping my parents do some early morning shopping (as one does). Of course, in true boomer fashion, we eschewed the abhorrent self-checkout (as one certainly does not do) and instead opted for the over-caffeinated, underpaid human cashier instead.

Too busy placing a much-needed Dunkin’ order on my mobile app, I nearly missed when the cashier asked my dad if he wanted his milk in a bag. 

Without missing a beat, dear old Dad of course replied, "No thanks, I'll keep it in the carton."

🐶Friday is National Take Your Dog to Work Day! This week, we acknowledge that corporate America has gone mutts, and the most pup-ular solution is bringing actual dogs to work. Nothing says #gonetothedogs like telling the boss that his constant hounding is unleashing resentment, not creativity. But fur real, your four-legged friend knows how to deal with ruff days, and unlike your cubicle mate, will work like a...well, you get the idea.

 @thewittyyeti   So, we did a thing. And then had to do another thing. Because, well, good help is hard to find these days. And our social media ...

Our products aren't for everyone, but they're definitely for these people.   Five stars, no notes. We love y'all. (And we censored your names and l...

Dogs > People, We Shih Tzu Not   Who could say no to these faces?