The Yeti's Answers to Those Pesky Questions at Thanksgiving
Let's face it: Thanksgiving is stressful af.
Why? Because your family's around, that's why. And yes, your in-laws count as "family." So does that cousin that you secretly hope was adopted.
I mean, the food on T-Day is delicious. But is it worth all those annoying questions your "family" asks you all day long? Idk. Depends on who's cooking.
Either way, feel free to use the Yeti's answers (a selection of some of the best funny Thanksgiving gifts) to those questions and comments we all know are coming soon.
Warning: NSFW products, irreverence, and varying levels of sarcasm ahead.
Top 10 Gag Gifts for Thanksgiving
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"Soooo how's your love life?"
Under renovation. Contractors say the delays are due to supply chain issues.
And given who she married, who is she to ask?! Time to slap one of these bad boys onto the back of old Aunt Susan's Buick Enclave:
Bonus: depending on how much she drinks at Thanksgiving, she might not notice it there for a few days.
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*looking up at your air vents* "So….when was the last time you replaced your air filters?"
I replace them every time someone asks invasive questions about my home maintenance.
They clearly need more fun in their lives. Give them these Fun Buttons to give them the subtle hint:
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"You look tired. Are you drinking enough water? Getting enough sleep?"
Thanks! "Tired" is the look I was going for today! And I use this special water jug to make sure I get exactly 2,479 ounces of water each day!
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"So when are you going to have a(nother) baby?? Clock's ticking, you know…"
Oh for sure. I'm just waiting for my bank account to respawn.
And the next time you have to give them a gift, wrap it up inside this special box:
No, I'm not having any more crotch goblins—I'm still recovering from the trauma of peeing every time I sneeze.
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*someone inevitably brings up politics*
Oh, we're doing politics? Cool, give me one sec to flip the table myself so we can skip ahead.
Bringing up politics at Thanksgiving is stupid. But see how stupid they really are and stick one of these fake stickers on your trash can, your computer, your sink, and your back door:
That dumb cousin of yours: "Open. Open. Open! OPENNNN!!!!"
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"You know, by the time I was your age…."
Yeah, well by the time I'm your age, I hope I'm not using my life choices as a weapon at dinner.
Time to send them a Shart Kit to remind them that while their brain thinks about when they were "your age," their stomach is still old af and they just ate mashed potatoes and gravy:
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"When are you two finally getting married??"
As soon as you start minding your own business. Sooooo…never?
Time to anonymously send her this ol' gem.
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"You're still at that same job? Did you get that promotion yet?"
Nope. My company said they're saving the promotion for someone who actually has hope left.
And since you got nothing, you can now give them nothing, too! Give them: THE GIFT OF NOTHING.
It's what they deserve. Truly.
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*pinches your love handles after hugging you and gives you a look that says "Ooh you've gained some weight"*
I have nothing to say here except it's time to send them something they can f#ck themselves with:
Yup, you can anonymously send them one with an actual dildo inside. Plus, they HAVE to sign for it. *chef's kiss*
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"How can you afford that?"
Mostly witchcraft and feet pics. If times get too hard, I might have to start selling my underwear.
You know what makes me feel rich, though? Handing out Bad Parking Cards to a$$h*les who park like they own the f'in parking lot. Make it rain:
Fun fact: there are 4 variations of these, with increasing levels of what your boss would call "inappropriateness."
How Do These Compare?
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Key Takeaways
- Match the gift to the crime – Nosy questions get fun buttons. Love handle pinchers get the dildo tube.
- Anonymous revenge is the sweetest – Many prank tubes require a signature. They'll never know it was you.
- Know your audience – Some gifts are dinner-safe. Others are "mail anonymously after Thanksgiving" safe.
- Year-round use – Annoying relatives don't take holidays off. Neither should your gag gift stash.
FAQs
Q: Can I send the prank mails anonymously?
A: Yes! Many prank tubes ship anonymously and require a signature. Coward's way out = fully supported.
Q: What if they actually like it?
A: Congrats, you found your favorite relative. Invite them to everything and ditch everyone else.
Q: What's your most popular Thanksgiving gift?
A: Bad Parking Cards are year-round winners, but the Child Chucker Prank Box and Shart Survival Kit dominate the holidays.
Q: My family has NO sense of humor. Should I still buy these?
A: Absolutely. Someone's gotta teach them to laugh. Worst case? You've got gifts for people who actually appreciate comedy.