WHEN YOUR GUT GOES ROGUE, you need someone with you in the trenches, and Witty Yeti has your back, soldier. We’re ready to fight dirty, even if your underwear isn’t.

CLEAN UP YOUR BOWELS' DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE. Our tactical reinforcement pack has you covered with 10 Butt Wipes, Disposable Underwear, Tissue Pack, Wood Scraper, Biohazard Bag, and Metal Pin to commemorate your trauma.

GUARANTEED FOR LIFE, though we can’t warrant your dignity. We offer a No-Nonsense Lifetime Satisfaction Guarantee so if at any point you're not 100% happy, just send us an email, and we promise to make it right (your pants are a lost cause, though).

THE PERFECT GIFT FOR INTESTINAL INSURRECTION. Give the gift of preparedness to anyone who's ever gambled on a fart and lost. When their belly betrays them in enemy territory, they'll remember who had their back (and rear) when it mattered most.

SILENT BUT DEADLY WENT LOUD AND PROUD. Sometimes the element of surprise works against you - like when that "silent" becomes a trumpet solo. This survival kit delivers immediate crisis management when your belly's classified intel goes public.

When your butt writes checks your pants can’t cash, Witty Yeti’s Military-Grade Shart Kit has you covered

Your sphincter signed a peace treaty, but your breakfast burrito never got the memo. Defend your dignity with our elite clean-up reinforcements.

SITUATION REPORT: The Rumbling Isn’t Stopping

Your colon has committed mutiny. Your sphincter has gone rogue. Intelligence suggests your breakfast burrito was actually a sleeper agent. This is not a drill.

When your digestive system goes AWOL, panic is not a strategy.

This calls for emergency protocols and professional-grade damage control.

The enemy was inside all along.

That "all-clear" signal from your stomach was hostile propaganda.

Trusted by the Fierce, the Foolish, the Flatulent

You need backup from soldiers who've earned their Brown Badge of Courage.

Your Butt’s Best Friend in Times of Crisis!

Time to deploy the Special Feces Forces, equipped with advanced derriere defense systems.

Operation: Brown Thunder Launches Early

You knew it was coming, but not now, not like this.

You were warned multiple times about gas station sushi.

That's when you call in the Poop Troop, the only unit that fights dirty and wins clean.

For Those About to Shart, We Salute You

The brave aren't those who feel no fear. The brave are those who feel a sudden rumble, whisper a quiet prayer, and still trust a sneeze. 

Zero-risk gifting.

White elephant champion. Birthday crowd-pleaser. And if it somehow doesn’t deliver? Lifetime 100% money-back guarantee.

Is this actually a real product?

While the humor is premium grade, so are the supplies. You get 1x pair of disposable underwear, 10x heavy-doody wet wipes, 10x cleanup tissues, 1x commemorative pin, 1x biohazard bag, 1x collectible tin, and 1x emergency wooden scraper.