As real as venereal disease, my friend. OK, I’ve been told that mentioning venereal disease is kinda weird to bring up when trying to sell hand sanitizer, but you get my point!

• WE ALL TOUCH OUR JUNK, but some of us wash our hands after touching our genitals. In case your friend falls into the non-washing group, finally a product that will pound the point home.
• DID YOU HEAR THE SINK RUNNING when they were in the bathroom? Were you listening right outside the door? That’s a little creepy, but you can’t be too careful, amirite?
• EXCELLENT NOVELTY GIFT FOR MEN & WOMEN. According to a study I just made up, almost 8 out of 10 people love this product. The other 2 are just upset they got shamed for not washing their hands!
• TWO BOTTLE VALUE PACK. Each bottle holds 2 ounces of alcohol-based hand sanitizer because who knows what they did to themselves earlier in the day.