{"title":"Gag Gifts","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"witty-yeti-touched-your-junk-hand-sanitizer","title":"\"Because You Probably Touched Your Junk\" Hand Sanitizer Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eAs real as venereal disease, my friend. OK, I’ve been told that mentioning venereal disease is kinda weird to bring up when trying to sell hand sanitizer, but you get my point!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWE ALL TOUCH OUR JUNK, but some of us wash our hands after touching our genitals. In case your friend falls into the non-washing group, finally a product that will pound the point home.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDID YOU HEAR THE SINK RUNNING when they were in the bathroom? Were you listening right outside the door? That’s a little creepy, but you can’t be too careful, amirite?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEXCELLENT NOVELTY GIFT FOR MEN \u0026amp; WOMEN. According to a study I just made up, almost 8 out of 10 people love this product. The other 2 are just upset they got shamed for not washing their hands!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTWO BOTTLE VALUE PACK. Each bottle holds 2 ounces of alcohol-based hand sanitizer because who knows what they did to themselves earlier in the day.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":12362755309670,"sku":"z-Touched_your_Junk_2pack","price":13.29,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/1st_Image_-_Witty_Yeti_-_Because_You_Probably_Touched_Your_Junk_Hand_Sanitizer_-_2_Pack_-_Main.jpg?v=1749230259"},{"product_id":"give-the-gift-of-frustration-boxes-in-a-box-prank-includes-3-sets-of-6-nesting-cartons-2-12-inch","title":"Box in a Box Prank Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eMake Your Friend\/Victim Open 6 Different Gift Boxes\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSpread a little mischief in this PC world with a light-hearted practical joke. It’s like Russian nesting dolls but with cardboard boxes. Your comrades will love it!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYour order comes with 18 total boxes so you’ll be able to pull this goofy prank 3 times! You’ll get three each of: 2 inch box, 4 inch box, 6 inch box, 8 inch box, 10 inch box, 12 inch box\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt’s like Inception, baby. We have to go deeper: It’s a box inside of a box inside of a box inside of a box inside of a box inside of a box. BRRAAAWWRMMMM.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat’s like asking does spray paint stick to my ex-wife’s car. And the answer, according to her lawyer is, “Yes.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDid you get Sheila in accounting? Didn’t she microwave fish in the break room last week? It’s time someone did something, and YOU are that someone. Your coworkers will guffaw your praises as they laugh their asses off at Sheila's expense.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAs real as the tears of my son when I wrapped a brick in socks and put it inside of an empty PlayStation box. Come on people. I’m kidding. My son was taken away from me a LONG time ago. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMAKE THEM OPEN 6 DIFFERENT BOXES… BECAUSE YOU CARE. The best part of opening presents is the opening of the box, right? Well, now you finally have the option of making the fun last 6 times longer!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOOH A BIG BOX, I CAN’T WAIT TO OPEN IT!! Oh cool, another box… 10 minutes of opening boxes later… “What the hell man? You got me an expired coupon to the Olive Garden and put it inside 6 boxes?”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTHE ANTICIPATION WILL BE GLORIOUS. Ok this is ridiculous, maybe the present is actually in the next box? Nope! Try again, sucker!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGUARANTEED TO BE HILARIOUS. Looking for gag gift for him or her? For your husband or wife? Trying to propose to your girlfriend? We got you covered.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":12362823925862,"sku":"1016476010","price":57.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/d7a83f56-975a-5e24-b4d8-d112e3457e7e_9fdd9c82-6a0f-40da-99bb-9a9b2034309f.jpg?v=1663007316"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-hilarious-bad-parking-cards-street-justice-edition-50-pk-5x-10-designs","title":"Street Justice Edition Bad Parking Revenge Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eFive different designs in a pack of 50 mean you'll be able to shame all of the idiot parkers of the world.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow many times have you asked yourself, \"Is it really that hard?\" as you try not to door-ding the terribly parked car next to yours? Whether you deputize yourself or give the gag gift of parking revenge, these bad parking cards will help win the war against arguably the simplest part of driving - parking the damn car.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow many markers did you sniff as a kid to park this badly?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI didn't realize assholes as big as you could fit into cars this small. Learn to park, douche.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThanks for parking so close, shitstain. Next time, leave me a can opener so I can get my fucking car out!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou SUCK at parking.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eISIS called. They love your parking job, you fucking terrorist.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLike sex, parking is better with your eyes open. Well, sex with somebody other than you, at least\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis is the shittiest parking job I've seen all year! Go back to Driver's Ed, you fucking amateur!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFantastic parking, Dickwad. You really put your heart and soul into sucking this bad.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis parking jobs is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent driving were you even close to anything that could be considered good parking. Everyone in this parking lot is now dumber for having witnessed this. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"This is a great parking job\" - Satan\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you aren’t completely satisfied with your order, simply reach out to us through the Amazon messaging service and we will respond within 24 hours to make it right even on the weekends. We absolutely guarantee your satisfaction or your money back!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGET QUIET, SWIFT REVENGE ON ASSHOLE DRIVERS. Don't have time to wait around for every bad parker to come back to their car? Leave a card so even if you're long gone, your angry sentiment lingers.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSERVE STREET JUSTICE AS A PARKING VIGILANTE. Be the superhero society needs with our meaner than average bad parking tickets and let the shitty drivers of the world know exactly how terrible they are\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGUARANTEED FOR LIFE. We offer a No-Nonsense Lifetime Satisfaction Guarantee on all of our gag gifts. If at any point you're not 100% happy, just send us an email, and we promise to make it right!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGIVE LAUGHTER AND BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. Make everyone jealous of your gift giving and hilariously satisfy righteous road rage anger with this perfect stocking stuffer or white elephant gift.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTHICK DURABLE PAPER = LONG LASTING INSULTS. Our idiot parking cards have the look and feel of actual business cards, making your insults last longer in inclement weather and look super professional.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":15840016629862,"sku":"R0-DQ6B-CRSP","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/5fed6c93-ee11-51fe-9924-51bdaf658fc8_697f4e24-bf08-4ed2-9ee1-8c685e6f1ab4.jpg?v=1642653751"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-dehydrated-water","title":"The Original Dehydrated Water Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHydration, simplified.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a 16oz can of \u003cstrong\u003e100% Dehydrated Water\u003c\/strong\u003e — scientifically engineered to contain \u003cstrong\u003eabsolutely nothing\u003c\/strong\u003e. Just add water to rehydrate your supply. \u003cstrong\u003eIt's that easy\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCrafted from \u003cstrong\u003ereal steel\u003c\/strong\u003e, this container is designed for long-term storage of the world's most flexible resource: the \u003cstrong\u003eabsense of moisture\u003c\/strong\u003e. Whether you're prepping for the end of times or just want to shine light on someone's hydration status, this gift delivers. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy Dehydrated Water?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Lightweight\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Calorie-free\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Emotionally refreshing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Impossible to spill\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt's perfect for \u003cstrong\u003ecampers, survivalists, scientists who've given up,\u003c\/strong\u003e and anyone who deserves a \u003cstrong\u003elaugh disguised as a solution\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eSpecs:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Dimensions: 4.49\" x 4.02\" x 3.9\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Contents: \u003cstrong\u003eexistential vacuum\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Results may vary depending on \u003cstrong\u003eactual hydration status\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eAdd to cart now. Or don't. We're \u003cstrong\u003e60% sure that's what the can would want\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":16199152304230,"sku":"1013770491","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/47afd665-33d6-580e-a817-a5cda30c4889.jpg?v=1669900450"},{"product_id":"bad-parking-cards-road-rage-edition","title":"Road Rage Edition Bad Parking Revenge Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eFive different designs in a pack of 50 mean you'll be able to shame all of the idiot parkers of the world.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eStart Winning the War Against Bad Drivers How hard is it really to just park in the lines? Does that BMW really need to take up two spaces? I mean seriously. How inconsiderate are these people? It's about time that we good drivers had something to communicate to these jerks just how awful they are. Swift, Quiet Revenge Keep these cards in your car so when you locate an a**hole in the wild (and by wild, I mean parked in a disabled space with no placard) you can simply and surreptitiously slide one under the windshield wiper. Your target will see a friendly and inviting business card, but little do they know, their world is about to come crumbling down (or something like that). Either way, you'll make their day a little worse, which will please the Parking Gods. Excellent Novelty Gift or Stocking Stuffer (for Naughty Children) Looking for the perfect gag gift for your Secret Santa? Look no further. Bad parkers inspire universal hatred, unless your friend or loved one is in fact a bad parker themselves. In that case, you must immediately disown that person. It's the only way. For everyone else, though, these consistently make for great novelty gifts, so long as the recipient has a...colorful...sense of humor. The Cards You might want to check your steering wheel for shit because it looks like it was parked by an asshole. Wow! Another Euro-import driver parked his car like an asshole. Shocking! Ford 3:50 - And the Lord sayeth, you park like a fucking moron. My grandmother parks better than you. And she's blind, armless, and dead. Learn to park. Asshole. What's in the Package?\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSICK OF A**HOLES PARKING LIKE JERKS? Finally you can unleash your righteous anger with Witty Yeti's funny parking notes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLIKE A FAKE PARKING TICKET BUT MEANER. Simply slip it under the windshield wiper, through the driver's door window, or into the gas tank with some sugar...Editor's Note: Definitely don't do this.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDEPUTIZE YOURSELF in the fight against bad parking. We can't win without your help, soldier. There are people parking over the lines as we speak!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSERVE THE PARKING GODS by distributing instant justice to the disrespectful idiots incapable of following the basic rules of parking lot decency.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePRINTED ON THICK, CLASSY UV COATED PAPER for maximum revenge. Each pack comes with 50 cards, 10 copies of each joke.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31318659563622,"sku":"1006962190","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/f3242392-65a3-5972-80a3-b5c3a8c16fb3.jpg?v=1642652838"},{"product_id":"bad-parking-cards-hit-and-run-edition","title":"Hit and Run Edition Bad Parking Revenge Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eFive different designs in a pack of 50 mean you'll be able to shame all of the idiot parkers of the world.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow hard is it really to just park in the lines? Does that BMW really need to take up two spaces? I mean seriously. How inconsiderate are these people? It’s about time that we good drivers had something to communicate to these jerks just how awful they are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePick your favorite or roll the dice to award the @$$hole in question the card of choice:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI would say, “At least you tried,” but you clearly didn’t.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI can tell by the way you park your car that no one likes you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe lines aren’t just a suggestion, idiot.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI know parking is scary, but next time try it with your eyes open.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhat has two thumbs and can’t park to save their life? You.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe recommend keeping these cards in your car, so when you locate these people in the wild (and by wild, I mean parked in a disabled space with no placard) you can simply and surreptitiously slide one under the windshield wiper. Your target will see a friendly and inviting business card, but little do they know, their world is about to be rocked. And this is better than using real rocks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEither way, you’ll make their day a little worse, which will please the Parking Gods. Win\/win.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31318713008230,"sku":"1006961272","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/c14a1889-1e2f-59aa-84c7-597aafeb61a0.jpg?v=1669900756"},{"product_id":"extra-small-condoms","title":"Extra Small Condoms Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe perfect gift for someone with nothing to hide. Literally.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis 5-pack of \u003cstrong\u003eExtra Small Condoms\u003c\/strong\u003e is the \u003cstrong\u003eultimate gag gift\u003c\/strong\u003e for roast parties, white elephant swaps, or passive-aggressive breakups. Each micro-sized rubber reminder comes packaged like the real thing—except the \u003cstrong\u003eemotional damage is included free of charge\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCrafted from real rubber and absolutely \u003cem\u003ezero\u003c\/em\u003e usable confidence\u003c\/strong\u003e, this gift is ideal for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Bachelor parties\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Breakups (yours or theirs)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• That one friend who brags a little too much\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Your ex. You know the one. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eWhat's inside?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• 5 laughably small condoms\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• A healthy dose of humility\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• And a whole lot of regret (probably theirs)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eWhether you're aiming for \u003cstrong\u003elaughs, awkward silence, or lifelong emotional scarring\u003c\/strong\u003e — this gift delivers. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot for actual use.\u003c\/strong\u003e Seriously. We tested nothing. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39511381901414,"sku":"JLS-91885-SPF","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/cf6b6cbd-9a0a-5dbe-a2ab-6ac1ef936b3b.jpg?v=1639001667"},{"product_id":"child-chucker-prank-box","title":"Child Chucker Gag Gift Prank Box","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTrebuchet not included.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut based on the box, \u003cstrong\u003eyour moral compass probably isn't either\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a \u003cstrong\u003eprank box\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003cstrong\u003eAn \u003cem\u003eempty\u003c\/em\u003e one\u003c\/strong\u003e. But at first glance, it looks like you've gifted someone a medieval baby-flinging device—and that's what makes it beautiful. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause nothing says \"\u003cstrong\u003eI love you\u003c\/strong\u003e\" like watching someone try to politely unwrap a \u003cstrong\u003efuture crime\u003c\/strong\u003e in front of relatives.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSlide your real gift inside, seal it up, and \u003cstrong\u003eenjoy a front-row seat\u003c\/strong\u003e as concern slowly builds. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor people who deserve better than sincerity\u003c\/strong\u003e:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eBaby showers\u003c\/strong\u003e that need a plot twist*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eParents\u003c\/strong\u003e with a sense of humor (or without sleep)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eCoworkers\u003c\/strong\u003e who shouldn't reproduce (but might)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eWhite elephant\u003c\/strong\u003e exchanges where you're playing to win\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe box \u003cstrong\u003eships flat\u003c\/strong\u003e, stands upright, and \u003cstrong\u003econtains no children\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003cstrong\u003eOr launch mechanism\u003c\/strong\u003e. Just pure chaos—measuring 11\" x 9\" x 3.25\" of questionable judgment. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThe box is empty. \u003cstrong\u003eYour intentions don't have to be\u003c\/strong\u003e.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e*\u003cem\u003eContinued presence at the baby shower not guaranteed\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39520255213670,"sku":"JLS-91917-SPF","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/4d48b895-75b3-52e8-9393-120a7deab7d8.jpg?v=1640268611"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-3-x-5-removable-colorful-machinery-gag-warning-bumper-stickers-10-pack","title":"Car \u0026 Machinery Warning Prank Stickers","description":"\u003cp\u003eHave a great time pranking your colleagues and buddies with our hilarious warning stickers perfect for construction vehicles, machinery, garages, bikes, walls and any other non-porous surface! You'll receive 10 stickers with a variety of different warnings. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe perfect gag gift, our funny warning decals are easily removable and leave no sticky residue mess behind to make sure the joke is actually funny and not something you'll have to clean up later.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39526342459494,"sku":"JLS-91985-SPF","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/61be377e-44a0-51d3-aeaa-989d5478b19c.jpg?v=1641411574"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-headlight-fluid","title":"Headlight Fluid Empty Bottle Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eCAR SHAME: THE PERFECT GIFT FOR HIM OR HER! Give the insulting gift of fake car products to your unsuspecting victim while the laughter of all onlookers pours out like... well, like headlight fluid. Except the laughter isn't fake! Make Sure YOUR Gift is the Highlight of the Party (see what we did there?)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWitty Yeti's Headlight Fluid is the ultimate gag gift idea that's sure to be a hit at any Dirty Santa Gift Exchange, Office White Elephant Gift Party or Birthday Celebration. DISCLAIMER: Witty Yeti assumes no responsibility for any possible retaliation of your friends, family or coworkers.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSo Many Potential Targets, So Little Time.\u003cbr\u003eIf your Uncle Bob gets butthurt and throws the bottle back at your head at the family Christmas gift exchange, look on the bright side (again with the light puns!) you can always re-gift to some other unsuspecting victi...I mean frenemy... err... I mean friend! The gift that keeps on giving!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIlluminate Their Day With Terrible, Not-So-Bright Car Puns and Driver Insults!\u003cbr\u003eThe Witty Yeti Pun Factory is glowing with pride at the enlightening research that went into crafting these silly snippets of car humor to set you and your friends ablaze with laughter and schadenfreude! (If you consider giving a couple drunk hobos on the highway a beer and a thesaurus \"\"enlightening research,\"\" then YES that's definitely what we did.)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFill the Bottle With Whatever Vile Substance You Want!\u003cbr\u003eIf you want to fill it up with soda pop and drink it to freak people out, be our guest. We ship you the 4\"\" x 9\"\" x 2\"\" labeled bottle, and you do the rest!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39533462093926,"sku":"JLS-1032-SPF","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/f1fab290-8c20-56ff-8ce7-3fff47c6d904.jpg?v=1702882278"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-5-x-7-hilarious-rude-happy-birthday-greeting-card-w-envelope-1-pk","title":"Rude Over-the-Hill Happy Birthday Greeting Card With Envelope","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis rude over-the-hill greeting card is sure to get laughs. This sarcastic card with a cute and colorful cupcake illustration will spread joy and laughter at your next birthday celebration with friends or family.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThey might forget everything else but they won't forget this card. Your mom, dad, husband, wife, or anyone with a great sense of humor would love this. Our unique design means they'll want to hold on to this as a keepsake.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis card includes a white envelope that easily fits each card. Buy their birthday card online this year to avoid the lines in your local store.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39548616409190,"sku":"JLS-91988-SPF","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/4b916742-0baf-5e3e-9700-b25ccfdd5cf5.jpg?v=1643902302"},{"product_id":"5-x-7-hilarious-wedding-or-engagement-greeting-card-with-envelope","title":"\"Married \u0026 Shit\" Funny Wedding or Engagement Greeting Card With Envelope","description":"\u003cp\u003eYour bestie will be crying tears of joy at this sarcastic card. With the cute red heart design it's sure to spread joy and laughter for the happy couple as you celebrate with friends and family.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGet them a card they'll cherish forever. I'll drink to that! Hilarious jokes and an adorable black and white illustration will make this a card they'll want to hold on to as a keepsake.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIncludes a white envelope that easily fits the card so you don't need to worry about running to the store while you're pre-gaming for the party. Buy online to save yourself the hassle!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39563008180326,"sku":"JLS-92012-SPF","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/6d716f9c-53d2-55f0-8089-681b120bd794.jpg?v=1645548994"},{"product_id":"5-x-7-hilarious-engagement-greeting-card-with-envelope-1-pack","title":"\"Fucking Finally!\" Funny Wedding or Engagement Greeting Card With Envelope","description":"\u003cp\u003eYour bestie will be crying tears of joy at this sarcastic card. With the cute red heart design it's sure to spread joy and laughter for the happy couple as you celebrate with friends and family.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGet them a card they'll cherish forever. I'll drink to that! Hilarious jokes and a festive gold champagne glass illustration inside will make this a card they'll want to hold on to as a keepsake.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIncludes a white envelope that easily fits the card so you don't need to worry about running to the store while you're pre-gaming for the party. Buy online to save yourself the hassle!\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39563009654886,"sku":"JLS-91987-SPF","price":6.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/447c0e3d-f2d7-534b-b4dc-d745793ed46a.jpg?v=1645549090"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-funny-adult-mail-postcard-15-pack","title":"Novelty Eggplant Adult Mail Postcard, 15 Pack","description":"\u003cp\u003eWatching your friends try to explain why they have this inappropriate rewards card will be hours of fun. The stuttering claims that this naughty card isn't theirs will have you and your pals laughing for hours. Make sure their husband or wife sees it for added hilarity.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow to use -- Just add a stamp and your victim's address and you're good to go. Don't forget to include their name in the blank space on the card as well! Or fill out your friend's name and leave it in their car, table, backpack or purse or anywhere around their home. Work might be a little risky, but hey we're not here to tell you what to do.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39640682332262,"sku":"JLS-92111-SPF","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/ac8da0bb-f373-59a7-ac95-4d67066e7f6c.jpg?v=1652356666"},{"product_id":"talking-buttons-4-pack","title":"4-Pack Trash Talking Buttons Set","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFour buttons. Twenty-four brutally honest phrases. One unforgettable gift. \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFinally, a way to express yourself at work \u003cem\u003ewithout\u003c\/em\u003e getting fired on the spot. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis trash-talking button set comes preloaded with the kinds of responses we all \u003cem\u003ewish\u003c\/em\u003e we could say out loud like \"\u003cstrong\u003eNope\u003c\/strong\u003e,\" \u003cstrong\u003eBull$h!t\u003c\/strong\u003e,\" and the ever-useful \"\u003cstrong\u003eF*ck it\u003c\/strong\u003e.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach button includes \u003cstrong\u003esix different phrases\u003c\/strong\u003e, so you'll never run out of ways to \u003cstrong\u003eshut things down with flair\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNeed to crush a bad idea in a meeting?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eReject a group text with one dramatic tap? \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCommunicate with your boss using only sarcasm and sound effects?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWe've got you.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEach pack includes:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \"\u003cstrong\u003eNailed It\u003c\/strong\u003e\" — for your rare moments of success\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \"\u003cstrong\u003eNope\u003c\/strong\u003e\" — when words are unnecessary\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \"\u003cstrong\u003eBull$h!t\u003c\/strong\u003e\" — when diplomacy just won't cut it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \"\u003cstrong\u003eF*ck It\u003c\/strong\u003e\" — the elegant solution to everything else\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLoud. Durable. Gift-ready\u003c\/strong\u003e. Built for years of bad decisions. Batteries included. Regret optional. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eWork desks, team meetings, passive-aggressive birthdays, and anyone who just can't anymore. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarning\u003c\/strong\u003e: contains profanity. Use responsibly... or don't.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eHR didn't approve this. And that's why you need it. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39913748398182,"sku":"JLS-92091-SPF","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/93073e3e-3977-510b-9251-c28fb9f02a05.jpg?v=1666163968"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-gift-of-nothing","title":"'Gift of Nothing' Empty Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou asked for nothing. So we made it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNeed something for the friend who has everything? The co-worker with no personality? The sibling who keeps asking for \"\u003cem\u003enothing\u003c\/em\u003e\" every year?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou're covered. \u003cstrong\u003eThis is the most satisfying non-gift you'll ever give.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's wrapped in real, display-worthy packaging, designed to look like an actual present—until they open it and discover a whole lot of nothing inside. The result? Confusion, laughter, maybe a little betrayal... and a story they'll tell forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhy it works:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e• Looks real. Feels empty. Delivers laughs.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e• Filled with clever jokes and petty delight.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e• Great for Secret Santa, birthdays, breakups, or your emotionally unavailable ex.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e• It's comedy, psychology, and chaos in one airtight dome.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou could've bought them something useful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInstead, you bought them \u003cstrong\u003esomething unforgettable.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39917481394278,"sku":"JLS-92013-SPF","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/9f6ecaad-f5e0-501a-af98-930ad9317e9e.jpg?v=1666370069"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-funny-novelty-prank-survival-kit-for-gag-gift","title":"Funny Novelty Prank Survival Kit for Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eShart happens, but with our hilarious Shart Survival Kit, you won't have to be the party pooper any longer! Conquer Taco Tuesday like a champ with this hilarious prank set. It includes a 10 pack of wet wipes, disposable underwear, tissues, and a hilarious badge. We've got your back...side.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nGive new meaning to \"potty humor\" with this functional gag gift. Move over fart jokes and toilet humor, Witty Yeti's shart kit is number 1 when it comes to number 2 and your friends or family will be left laughing so hard they may need a restroom break after this practical joke...\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIncludes: tissue pack, non-alcoholic wet wipes, white disposable underwear, survivor's badge, instruction card, and keepsake tin.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFunctional kit\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPlease note: Contents are not flushable\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nTravel size: 5.25\" x 4\"\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eWitty Yeti offers standard shipping on all of our stocking stuffers and free returns within 60 days of purchase. If you aren’t completely satisfied with your order, simply reach out to us through the Shopify messaging service and we will respond within 24 hours to make it right even on the weekends. We absolutely guarantee your satisfaction or your money back!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39930928595046,"sku":"JLS-92103-SPF","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/a61162b4-096a-585e-9fcd-3fd7a2a4e431.jpg?v=1667233175"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-shart-wipe-2-pack-20-ct","title":"Original Shart Wipe 2 Pack","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA wet wipe for when things go terribly, terribly wrong. \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis 2-pack of \u003cstrong\u003eShart Wipes\u003c\/strong\u003e includes \u003cstrong\u003e20 opportunities for emotional recovery\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnscented. Alcohol-free. And completely useless at fixing your reputation. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether it's \u003cstrong\u003eTaco Tuesday aftermath\u003c\/strong\u003e, a \u003cstrong\u003erisky sneeze\u003c\/strong\u003e, or just a \"\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003etrust issue\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\" that didn't work out, these wipes are here for you—and the friends you're willing to traumatize. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis set makes a \u003cstrong\u003eperfect gag gift\u003c\/strong\u003e for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• White elephant parties\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• That one uncle who always \"eats fearlessly\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Or anyone who's been betrayed by a burrito\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot flushable. Not discreet. Not forgettable.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eUse them to clean up your worst decisions—or just to clean up the conversation. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNow shipping free. Returns accepted within 60 days.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eBut let's be honest—you're not returning this. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39946796335206,"sku":"JLS-92175-SPF","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/3576bd3c-29a2-50cd-8bbb-97dc89e12fb2.jpg?v=1668099940"},{"product_id":"human-cone-prank-box","title":"Human Cone Prank Gift Box","description":"\u003cp\u003eIntroducing the Witty Yeti 13\" x 10\" x 3.5\" Durable Cardboard Prank Gift Box! Made from high-quality corrugated cardboard, this oversized box guarantees laughter and amusement with its witty jokes and funny illustrations. Get ready to bring the laughter to any occasion and watch as the unforgettable moments unfold when they unwrap their gift and discover this unique and embarrassing box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46052797612342,"sku":"JLS-92213-SPF","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/302c3f82-4d10-5359-b044-7fbfc4d1cf50.jpg?v=1690851697"},{"product_id":"computer-antifreeze-gag-gift","title":"Computer Antifreeze Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eElevate your prank game with Computer Antifreeze: The Official Coolant of Incognito Mode! Packed with goofy jokes, it's the ultimate gag gift for techies, geeks, or anyone in need of a good laugh. Our lifetime satisfaction guarantee ensures your prankster reputation stays intact. With an abundance of hilarious humor, this compact gift is perfect for your desk or to share at the office. Be the life of the party and keep the laughs rolling with this sturdy, hilarious masterpiece. Get ready to be the funniest person in the room, and let the smiles spread!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47332462657846,"sku":"JLS-92290-SPF","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/35c37c8e-aa4e-5688-b2ce-455826143d50.jpg?v=1698157281"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-eye-bleach","title":"Eye Bleach Meme Prank Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eFrom the makers of 'Computer Antifreeze' comes an all-new prank with Witty Yeti Eye Bleach! This realistic Xmas stocking size gag gift includes a reusable bottle and sturdy fake packaging, perfect for surprising your favorite internet addict with a fun and family-friendly joke gift. Whether for Christmas stocking stuffers, office exchanges, secret santas, white elephant or yankee swaps, this fun and silly present is sure to please anyone who loves their tech and memes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eNote: This is an EMPTY bottle! Not a real cleaning product!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eWarning: Do not fill with bleach or any other liquid! This is a GAG GIFT ONLY!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50644052738358,"sku":"JLS-92313-SPF","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/e140d578-0a33-52d9-b22d-8574d0aa9ad8.png?v=1727456196"},{"product_id":"tactical-shart-wipes-1-pack","title":"Heavy Duty Tactical Grade Shart Wipes, Single Pack","description":"\u003cp\u003eExperience ultimate cleanup power with Witty Yeti Military Shart Wipes, featuring 10 durable, cloth-based sheets in a compact 5.51 x 3.35 x 1.18 inch pack. Perfect for adults on the go, these alcohol-free, biodegradable wipes keep you fresh anytime, anywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eContains 10 tactical-grade wipes per pack\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eIntended for adult sanitary applications\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eDimensions 5.51 x 3.35 x 1.18 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eCompact resealable pack for travel use\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eAlcohol-free, biodegradable, skin safe material\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWitty Yeti offers free standard shipping on all of our Witty Yeti Military Shart Wipes and free returns within 60 days of purchase. If you aren’t completely satisfied with your order, simply reach out to us through the Shopify messaging service and we will respond within 24 hours to make it right even on the weekends. We absolutely guarantee your satisfaction or your money back!\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53044225442102,"sku":"JLS-92338-SPY","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/251df505-e4b5-5a88-9005-e1e7968c975f.jpg?v=1758899217"},{"product_id":"tactical-shart-wipes-2-pack","title":"Heavy-Duty Tactical Grade Shart Wipes, Double Pack","description":"\u003cp\u003eExperience ultimate cleanup power with Witty Yeti Military Shart Wipes, featuring 20 durable, cloth-based sheets in a compact 5.51 x 3.35 x 1.18 inch pack. Perfect for adults on the go, these alcohol-free, biodegradable wipes keep you fresh anytime, anywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContains 20 tactical-grade wipes per pack\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIntended for adult sanitary applications\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDimensions 5.51 x 3.35 x 1.18 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompact resealable pack for travel use\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAlcohol-free, biodegradable, skin safe material\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWitty Yeti offers free standard shipping on all of our Witty Yeti Military Shart Wipes and free returns within 60 days of purchase. If you aren’t completely satisfied with your order, simply reach out to us through the Shopify messaging service and we will respond within 24 hours to make it right even on the weekends. We absolutely guarantee your satisfaction or your money back!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53044226097462,"sku":"JLS-92339-SPY","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/ee1afe49-ff1a-5614-b175-47e4a7fa8de3.jpg?v=1758899231"},{"product_id":"tactical-shart-survival-kit","title":"NEW Shart Survival Kit: Tactical Edition","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWHEN YOUR GUT GOES ROGUE, you need someone with you in the trenches, and Witty Yeti has your back, soldier. We’re ready to fight dirty, even if your underwear isn’t.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCLEAN UP YOUR BOWELS' DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE. Our tactical reinforcement pack has you covered with 10 Butt Wipes, Disposable Underwear, Tissue Pack, Wood Scraper, Biohazard Bag, and Metal Pin to commemorate your trauma.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGUARANTEED FOR LIFE, though we can’t warrant your dignity. We offer a No-Nonsense Lifetime Satisfaction Guarantee so if at any point you're not 100% happy, just send us an email, and we promise to make it right (your pants are a lost cause, though).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTHE PERFECT GIFT FOR INTESTINAL INSURRECTION. Give the gift of preparedness to anyone who's ever gambled on a fart and lost. When their belly betrays them in enemy territory, they'll remember who had their back (and rear) when it mattered most.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSILENT BUT DEADLY WENT LOUD AND PROUD. Sometimes the element of surprise works against you - like when that \"silent\" becomes a trumpet solo. This survival kit delivers immediate crisis management when your belly's classified intel goes public.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen your butt writes checks your pants can’t cash, Witty Yeti’s Military-Grade Shart Kit has you covered\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour sphincter signed a peace treaty, but your breakfast burrito never got the memo. Defend your dignity with our elite clean-up reinforcements.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSITUATION REPORT: The Rumbling Isn’t Stopping\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour colon has committed mutiny. Your sphincter has gone rogue. Intelligence suggests your breakfast burrito was actually a sleeper agent. This is not a drill.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen your digestive system goes AWOL, panic is not a strategy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis calls for emergency protocols and professional-grade damage control.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe enemy was inside all along.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThat \"all-clear\" signal from your stomach was hostile propaganda.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTrusted by the Fierce, the Foolish, the Flatulent\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou need backup from soldiers who've earned their Brown Badge of Courage.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour Butt’s Best Friend in Times of Crisis!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTime to deploy the Special Feces Forces, equipped with advanced derriere defense systems.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOperation: Brown Thunder Launches Early\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou knew it was coming, but not now, not like this.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou were warned multiple times about gas station sushi.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThat's when you call in the Poop Troop, the only unit that fights dirty and wins clean.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor Those About to Shart, We Salute You\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe brave aren't those who feel no fear. The brave are those who feel a sudden rumble, whisper a quiet prayer, and still trust a sneeze. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eZero-risk gifting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhite elephant champion. Birthday crowd-pleaser. And if it somehow doesn’t deliver? Lifetime 100% money-back guarantee.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIs this actually a real product?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhile the humor is premium grade, so are the supplies. You get 1x pair of disposable underwear, 10x heavy-doody wet wipes, 10x cleanup tissues, 1x commemorative pin, 1x biohazard bag, 1x collectible tin, and 1x emergency wooden scraper.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53044307263798,"sku":"JLS-92336-SPY","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/c56018f7-7aaf-584d-a868-9b17662efa89.jpg?v=1764697805"},{"product_id":"original-shart-kit-bundle","title":"Original Shart Kit Bundle","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe original Shart Survival Kit with a double refill of Shart Survival Wipes, all yours in one sweep.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53284201955638,"sku":null,"price":42.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}]},{"product_id":"for-dad-father-in-law-the-ultimate-shart-survival-duo","title":"For Dad \u0026 Father-in-Law: The Ultimate Shart Survival Duo","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe stocking stuffer that will blow every other gift out of the water. Socks can’t compete with this. Cologne has never saved a man in crisis. This bundle actually does something.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis bundle packs both of our best sellers: the Original Shart Survival Kit and the NEW Tactical Edition.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGive Dad the classic. Give your Father-in-Law the military-grade version. They both need it. They both deserve it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike the usual boring gifts they get every year, this bundle solves a real problem. When their digestive system goes rogue, they won't forget you. Christmas dinner conversations will include \"Remember that Shart Kit?\" for YEARS.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is funny, it is weirdly useful, and it is guaranteed to be the thing he talks about for the rest of the day. He will laugh when he opens it, then quietly stash one in his truck for emergencies.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eWhat’s Inside (Two Full Kits = Double the Disaster Control)\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOriginal Shart Survival Kit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA classic for a reason.\u003cbr\u003eIncludes tissues, wipes, disposable underwear, emergency instructions, survivor badge, and a keepsake tin for storing… memories.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTactical Shart Survival Kit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor when Dad’s gut goes full DEFCON 1.\u003cbr\u003eIncludes wipes, tissues, disposable underwear, wood scraper, biohazard bag, metal pin, and military-grade emotional support.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect gift for dads, father in laws, uncles, brothers and any man who has ever taken a risky bathroom gamble and immediately regretted it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53389833273654,"sku":null,"price":59.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/Untitled_design_41.png?v=1764696376"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.wittyyeti.com\/collections\/gag-gifts\/secret-santa-gifts.oembed","provider":"Witty Yeti","version":"1.0","type":"link"}